Not only that. I call my kids names too! Even my pets!
In fact, I have become so prolific at it that I make new ones up all the time!
And I am not apologetic about it.
Because I am talking about sweet pet names.
Some of you may feel uncomfortable even thinking about it – it’s not your thing. I get it. But it doesn’t have to be sickening sweet names like Punky-doodle or Seinfeld’s favorite – Schmoopy. I am just talking about a “honey” or “sweetie” or something now and then.
Recently I let the busyness of life kind of distract me and take some of my fun-loving side away a little. It happened slowly so I didn’t notice it at first.
Little by little, I stopped calling my husband things like “sweet boy”, “amazing man”, “my hero”. You know…Just little names I called him when we were newly in love when it came naturally.
I kept calling my kids those names – because they are so stinking adorable – and they are KIDS!
I was slightly aware of it, but thought – ah – no big deal. He knows I still love him. We are at the point in our lives where we know who we are, and we do know we love each other. We don’t need all that sickening sweet beginner couple stuff! I mean – we’re adults here.
…Enter stage right…insidious, slow plague…I started taking him for granted!
I started noticing that I felt a little distance between us. Not like – Oh my goodness we are headed for big trouble kind of distance. More like something small is missing, or maybe that small nagging feeling you get when you forget to say thank-you, or something.
But then I got used to that feeling and started ignoring that little tug on my heart to go that tiny extra mile.
Then I complimented him less and less for his little contributions around the house or his common courtesies throughout the day.
More small naggings, but this time it was easier to ignore – like I was becoming inoculated to the complacency…slowly. After all, these were not BIG things. I mean, do I REALLY need to thank him for doing a load of laundry now and then or taking the trash out? These are weekly things that have to be done.
What does he want? A certificate? I do stuff all the time around the house and don’t always get a thank you. Put your big boy pants on. C’mon.
Wow…What just happened there? Where did THAT come from? What comes next? Bitterness? Resentment? Does it really happen that fast? That easily? Holy Cow!
Here’s the thing. When I DO get those “thank-you’s” now and then…it’s nice. Someone noticed my act of courtesy. Not only did I help make someone’s day a little easier – they took the time to let me know they noticed.
And it energizes me just enough to make me want to keep up the good work.
And maybe the biggest thing of all is – I don’t feel like I am being taken for granted!
It is never too late to correct your path. I realized my deficiency and started intentionally saying those little thank you’s again.
I started intentionally calling him little silly names again. I took and extra 30 seconds to stop, look in his eyes and appreciate him!
And guess what happened?
NO…it didn’t make him a perfect robot obeying my every wish…something even better happened – I appreciated him more! It reminded me of when we were first dating and how thankful I was for all his little considerate gestures.
And the best unexpected result was – I fell a little bit more in love! It reminded me just how lucky I am to have this special person in my life!
After all – my big grown man is just a little boy under all that tough exterior – and I am the only one he trusts enough to show me the vulnerable chinks in his armor.
Instead of being annoyed (provided he is not being a captain whiney pants taking advantage of your good graces) – it is a privilege to see that human side of him.
So, yes…he DOES need those extra little kudos from me so he feels like the most special guy in the whole world to me.
And I need to do it to remind myself how lucky I am to have a guy that cares enough to even do those kind little things.
Funny how such a little…TINY even thing can make such a huge impact!
So – yes…I try to call my spouse names. As often as I can.
And…I shouldn’t be surprised, but…He even started calling me his “sweet girl” again.