I was driving home and Peter Gabriel’s “In your eyes” came on. I love that song…even after all these years.
But it got me thinking. How many times a day do I REALLY look INTO the eyes of my loved ones? In the busyness and chaos of shuffling to and from school, or summer camps, or work, and the store, and getting chores done, even when playing – when do I really just take the time to look right into their eyes and pause for a moment and just be, and see?
And that got me thinking even further – how many times do I stop, get down on my children’s level and see the world THROUGH their eyes? Between all the to-do lists, meals, clean up, errands and every day life…sometimes I feel like I am racing some god forsaken clock – trying to beat some buzzer to get the kids in bed in time for a few winks myself.
That makes me sad when I think about.
What a waste.
And I am a mom that actually tries to not take a lot for granted…yet I still do.
I felt a renewed desire to rush home to the girls and try to take the time to look into their beautiful brown eyes. To really “see” them. For this moment in time that they are this very age and never will be again.
And yet – it still happened. I enter the house, and a dog needed mega attention and a walk, and the sisters wanted to play a computer game together, and dinner needed to be cooked, and dishes put away, and bills cleared from the counter, and the cat was meowing his head off and…
I didn’t get that magical moment I had been day dreaming about.
Not at the moment.
I did get to watch them eat a healthy dinner (well…relatively healthy…ok…at least not harmful dinner), we chased the puppy around and laughed at his ridiculousness. I asked (nagged) them both to brush their teeth and get on their jammies (and let them win the argument to sleep in their shorts and t-shirts, because you know they are ultra comfie and about the same thing), and got a surprise kiss and hug from my big girl (who recently told me she was done with kisses).
And I got to snuggle with my little one as usual (after she read a story about feelings, built an extensive nest, rearranged it several times, got a drink of water, checked on her American Girl doll, rebuilt her nest and finally settled down). I had broke down earlier in the day and bought her the Frozen CD…(yes…better late than never) so I also got to listen to her sing every single word to about 5 songs before she started actually getting a little tired.
And I got to smell her, and be close, and try very hard not to tickle her because it is one of my favorite things to do, but I was trying to get her to sleep, so I had to be good. So I just laid there – so thankful for the moment. Like I do every night.
But it was a little different. I wasn’t rushing to beat a clock tonight.
And the only difference was my attitude. Plain and simple. All the chaos was still there. I just chose to have a different focus.
I do try to remember life is not a race, and try very hard to not take moments for granted, but I still do sometimes. And I have to remind myself like this now and then to focus on right here and now. Soak in these moments. Look into their eyes…and see life through their eyes.
I love to give my kids the camera and see what pictures they took. To see their perspective. But I need to be more intentional about seeing life through their eyes on a more consistent basis and without a camera to show me.
That’s my goal these next few weeks (again). To start (re)training myself to slow down, look into their sweet eyes, and see life through their amazing brief childlike perspective.